Out Of My Comfort Zone

I tend to shy away from discussing controversial topics.  I don’t engage in pointless arguments on social media. In fact, if you follow me on social media, you will find I talk about 3 main things:  coffee, funny stuff to put a smile on your face, or something uplifting. And that’s basically it.  

But here I am, stepping out of my comfort zone because I feel God calling me to do this.  You should also know that right now, right this very second, my heart is beating faster, and my stomach is in knots because I’m writing this.  

Way out of my comfort zone is an understatement.

But here goes…

“I don’t need you.  I want you.”

I have never told a greater lie to myself.  

But for many, many years, that was my slogan when it came to dating.  Because I was a strong and independent woman, and I didn’t need anyone to fulfill my life.

While some of that principle isn’t entirely accurate, the base of it is still true.  Because I don’t need another human. I need God.


As humans, we need one another.  We do. I cannot survive in this world alone.  There is no possible way that I could survive without the help from others.  I assure you that should I be dropped in the middle of the woods and left to survive on just the things in the woods, I would starve, or my klutzy behind would inevitably do something insane and end up damaging myself beyond repair.

There are people out there that could do those things.

I am certainly not one of them.

When the feminist movement began, it was about having equal rights.  Not being forced to jobs that we didn’t want to do, nor get paid a pittance for doing such a job.  Ending women feeling like second class citizens.  It was about women standing up and saying “I can do this, too. I can do it well. And I should get paid for doing it well.”  But even by the end of the original feminist movement, those that started it no longer supported how far things had gone.

Because if I paid attention to what society thinks I should do, I should have a husband and kids, and work a full time job, and keep my house spotless, and cook amazing meals every night of the week, and do all of the housework, and volunteer.  

So let me clue you in on a little secret.  

If you follow the guidelines that society is setting up for you, you will fail.

Read that again.

You.  Will. Fail.


I tend to consider myself more of a common-sensical feminist.  It follows one simple guideline:

Intelligence is knowing you can do ANYTHING.  Wisdom is knowing you cannot do EVERYTHING.

I do many things that are not what you would consider “girly.”  I build furniture, and I love mowing the lawn, and helping my dad farm.  Yes, I drive a tractor. But I also know that it is not possible for me to do everything all on my own.  

Ask my dad.  As a single woman, I call on him a lot to help me with things around the farm.  

God designed women to be a partner and support system.  And I’m not really sure I understand why all of a sudden that seemed to be a bad thing.  

A while back, I was talking to a fellow teacher.  And his assessment of the world we live in (specifically, with teenagers), he is convinced that women are going to end up ruling the world.  And honestly, if you look at the maturity level between Freshman girls and boys, he is correct. At that age, boys are simply not as mature as girls.  My response was to use the analogy of a farmer…

Looking back to days gone by, to the present, in most cases (certainly not all) the man is the farmer.  He works in the field, he stresses over whether or not to do this or do that. So yes, the man is the farmer.  But if you look at his wife, and all of the tasks she manages to be able to support that farmer: cooking meals, laundry, helping out on the farm.  All of the tasks that she does allows the farm to run smoothly. Both roles are vitally important.  With the roles that women have, we already rule the world.  We just don’t always get credit for it.

So if you are in the position of serving, helping, being a teammate, don’t ever look down on your support role.  

Because without every role being managed, we will fail.

We all must work together.

One ill side effect of the feminist movement that is rather frustrating to deal with is that because women are standing up and saying “I don’t need no man” we are creating a generation of lazy men.

Not all men are lazy.  I get that. Don’t get all kerflusterbated at me.

But some men see that women are pushing them aside to do tasks themselves, and they end up completely content to just sit back and let someone else do it.  And more than anything, it leads to a lack of respect. Take for example, men opening the door for women. Yes, I can physically open a door myself. But I love it when men still open the door for me.  Because that is their way of saying, you know what, yes you can do it yourself. But you don’t have to do everything by yourself.  

So, women, can we please stop accepting the lack of respect, the downright awful expectation, of needing to do absolutely everything to feel like a success? 

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